Parting with the Past
by in the hallway with jeans
Summary: Alice met Jasper when she was 5. Alice fell in love with Jasper when she was 13. Alice got her her heart broken by Jasper at 19. Five years after the heartbreak, Alice is finally getting over it. But when that blue eyed boy comes back, all bets are off.
1. Chapter 1

**Alice, 14. Jasper, 15. **

"Jasper! Stop it! That tickles! No!" Alice's fleeting attempts to get Jasper to stop tickling her stomach were useless. Alice knew she couldn't use her pouting face**;** he had grown immune to that years ago. She managed to turn herself around on the couch so she was facing him. They had been watching re-runs, and talking about school**, **when she challenges his masculinity. 

"Jasper!" She yelled, trying to whine, but her laughter made it hard.

"Take it back!" Jasper warned. His eyes shone with happiness.

"Never!" Alice vowed. Jasper glared at her, and then started tickling her even more. His deep, baritone laughter filled the room, and his smile stretched across his entire face.

Jasper's birthday was next week, and Alice had joked about his birthday present, thus the tickle attack. By now, Alice had managed to wriggle out of Jaspers grip, and she ran. Alice giggled as she fled out the front door, Jasper close on her heels. It was raining harder than usual, and Alice had no shoes on, but she didn't stop. Alice ran on the sidewalk, then ran in the street when the sidewalk ran out.

Alice loved the rain, it always seemed so**…** magical. The beautiful way the light shone on the water. How much fun it was to play in, and then splash in the puddles the next day. One of her favorite things in the world was rain, and the rainbows it created.

Jasper paused, watching Alice. She was so graceful, care free, and just generally happy. Alice made Jasper happy like no one else could. Her smile was breath-taking and contagious .Her laugh was like chimes in a tower. It captured you and made your heart leap. On those rare occasions when she was sad, his heart ached right along with hers. She had this way about her that was just so simply… Alice. Jasper had been in love with Alice since he was seven years old.

Alice danced in the rain, leaping from the sidewalk to a forming puddle. She let out a laugh. She was euphoric, she felt like she was soaring. Suddenly she was being swallowed by a pair of warm, familiar arms.

"Gotcha." Jasper whispered in her ear, making her shiver.

Alice had been madly in love with Jasper for a year and a half. He was her best friend, but so much more than that. She had known they were two halves of a whole since she first laid eyes on him. It took her until a year and a half ago to realize that they fit so well together because they were meant for each other, she just had to get him to see that.

"That's what you think." She replied back with a little laugh. Jasper grip on her tightened instinctively as she squirmed, making them fall to the ground. They landed in a large puddle in the middle of the road. They lay in silence for an echoing moment before they started laughing, their laughs fitting together wonderfully, the perfect balance. Alice tried rolling off of Jasper, but he didn't let go, and had rolled over so he now hovered over her. His honey blonde hair clung to the top of his forehead, and rain drops dripped off the tip of his nose.

"I love you." Alice blurted out. She had thought it, but didn't realize she'd actually said it out loud until Jasper's sapphire blue eyes widened. Alice's expression changed to one of horror.

"Wait! No! Umm…I didn't mean to say that. I'm sorry." Alice's words ran together as she rushed to get them all out. Jaspers head was still reeling. She loved _him_? When did that happen? "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, I get that you don't think of me like that. I'll just leave-" Jasper's hand cupped her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes, Alice stopped talking in shame.

"Alice, I've loved you since I was seven. Ever since you yelled at me for taking your yellow marker when you were about to draw the sun.**" **Jasper smiled at the memory**. "**I am so totally in love with you. Don't ever doubt that." Jasper leaned down and kissed Alice, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. They stayed like that for a while, kissing in the rain, staring into each other's eyes, reveling in the love they shared. That love would see some tough times, and be stretched, and thinned, and ignored, and forgotten. That love would be tested, and not every time would it win.

_**Dani's notes-Oooooo yay!! I'm already having fun with it. Yippee!! Okay, so. It's pretty good so far…I don't see many mistakes, but I think it could use a bit of general flow work. It seems to me that there are too many big blocks of type you know? I'm going to try and break it down a little. **_

_**Really, though, I didn't change a whole lot of what you wrote. I added a few words here and there, as you can see. Feel free to undo what I did, these are just suggestions that I'm making that I feel might help the chappy flow a little better, but once again, I don't mind if you don't use them. It is your story, after all! **_

_**My only problem that I didn't touch was the fact that they were laying, and being all lovey-dovey…in the street? **_

_**Okay, I'm finished now! **_

**Hey Guys! How do you like my new story so far????? I'm super excited about it!!! Let's give super props to Foundation of Dreams, Beta Lady!!!!!!! WOOP! This story is going to be full of drama, and sad times, and happy times, and all the in between. About the street thing. I took it from the Notebook, plus it's Forks, and on the outskirts of town, so no cars come through, and it's a fiction story! Go check out my other stories!!! If you read Why? Just Why, Make sure you get the new one! I'm in the process of re-writing it! Anyhoo! Review PLEASE! **


	2. Going Henry On Me?

**So the last chapter was kind of a glimpse into the past, and how Alice and Jasper got started. I'll add more things like that as memories and stuff as the story goes on. The beginning of the chapter doesn't flow very well, but it'll get better farther down. I have more to say, but if I say them up here, it will ruin the chapter, so I will see you at the bottom. Enjoy the Chapter!!!! I apologize for the length of the chapter. I had to fit a bunch of stuff into this chapter, and I didn't want to split it in two. Bear with me. **

Sunlight shone through my open window, hitting me in the face and waking me up. I groaned as I looked at the clock; it was only eight! In the morning! I rolled off my bed and landed with a thump on the floor. My arm was crushing my boob, so I decided it would be a good move to get up. I walked over to my window and closed the blinds, creating a dark room for me to go back to sleep in. I walked sleepily back to my bed and lay back down, covering myself with my blanket and yawning. I rolled to my left and hit something, but my mind wasn't awake enough to figure out what it was, or even want to. I wrapped my blankets around me, blocking out the cold air, and closed my eyes. My mind was nagging at me, but I tried to ignore it. After 15 minutes of just laying in my bed, I groaned loudly and got up. I stomped downstairs, and planted myself on a bar stool. I glared at the clock on the microwave that said it was 8:17. I. Hate. Mornings.

After spending a couple of minutes moping and just sitting on the bar stool, I got up and rummaged through the refrigerator, trying to find something to eat, when a delicious smell wafted through the air and to my nose. I followed it through the kitchen and into the dining room. The dining room table was filled with breakfast foods, everything from omelets to chocolate chip pancakes, each place setting was set with a plate. As I got closer I could hear Esme humming somewhere. It was a Friday, why would Esme do this today? It's not anyone's birthday, or even an anniversary. As I pondered this, Esme came flitting into the room, glowing brightly. She gave me a huge smile, and came over to hug me.

"Good morning, Darling! Are you excited!" She said in her soft, loving voice. Her eyes were twinkling the way they do when she's especially happy.

"What? Why would I be-" I broke off as it dawned on me, and I _screamed._ Not a normal "this is so exciting!" scream- a glass shattering, ear bleeding, loud as possible, opera singers are jealous, high pitched, _scream. _

"ESME!" I shouted.

"What?!" She yelled back at me, obviously clueless as to what was going on.

"I'm getting married today. _Today_! I'm going to wear a white dress, and have a flower girl in her dress, and people are coming, and my mom is here, and I'm going to be Mrs. Whitlock!" I squealed before I got lost in the moment of happiness as I thought of all the things. My wedding day, the one I've dreamed of since I was a little girl, to the man I've loved sine I was thirteen. It was really happening!

"Yes, and you're going to live happily ever after." Esme laughed quietly before continuing on into the kitchen. I plopped ungracefully into a chair, mesmerized by my thoughts. I was getting married, 18 (almost 19) year old Alice Cullen or Brandon or whatever was getting _married._ She was going to go to school for fashion, become a model or designer, or something, and she was going to live in a cute little house with a dog named Murphy and spend Sundays with her family watching movies and sitting by the fire. I could hardly believe that this was _my _story.

"Jeez, Alice, do you think you could wake up Mexico too?" Rosalie grumbled as she slopped down the stairs in boxers and a band t-shirt. Her hair was up in a disheveled ponytail, and she had cute little slippers on her feet. Typical Rosalie.

"Rosalie Hale! I'm getting married today!" I sang. Rosalie lived with the Cullen's too. She moved in a month ago, but hadn't been around much lately. She hadn't met Jasper yet either because they'd both been so busy. That's what I hit this morning, Rosalie! Now it made sense. Rosalie was two years older than me, and got a job in Port Angeles at a Politicians office. I had gotten her in because I knew the team from my father. My dad, Spencer Brandon, is a Senator for Washington and lives in D.C. He has since I was 6, but I didn't want to move, so I lived with my Aunt Mason, who died from Spanish Influenza.

At that time, Edward Mason was my best friend, and now parentless after his mothers death. He went to live with me and my parents in D.C. for the summer. Edward then got a call to go live with Esme and her husband Carlisle, and when they heard about me, they invited me to go too. My parents had never paid that much attention to me because they were always busy, so the staff were the only people around. Edward moved from Chicago, to D.C. to Washington all in one year, poor guy. Edward is still my best friend, and he'd better be getting his ass moving right about now at their hotel. The boys left last night for a bachelor party, and were forced to stay at a hotel because, obviously, Jasper isn't supposed to see me before the wedding.

Rosalie landed herself in the chair next to me, and immediately went for the Lucky Charms. In one minute flat the woman had a pile of every single breakfast food imaginable on her plate, and I mean _every _food. Esme called Carlisle, who was in his study, and my mother who was getting out of the shower, I think. Soon we had a full table. Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme, my mother, and my flower girl, Vera, who had slept over the night before, sharing the room with my mom. I was smiling like crazy, and so excited. I had to start getting ready soon! I couldn't wait. I turned to Vera, who hadn't spoken in a while, she was a little quiet sometimes.

"Are you excited?" I asked. She nodded vigorously, in that way that only little kids can.

"Mommy said I could wear da dwess awwwwwwl day if I was a good giwl!" She gleefully giggled, mispronouncing a few words because she was only three years old.

"Oh my gosh! Are you serious?! That's so awesome! I get to wear my dress all day too! I used to love wearing dresses when I was your age. One summer when I come to visit you, you'll have to remind me to bring all my dress up stuff for you! And if your extra _extra _good, I might let Aunt Liv show it to you now, and you can play with it while you two are staying here." Claire squealed and bounced excitedly, then turned to tell Rosalie about what I had just said. Aunt Liv was my mom, Olivia Brandon. I looked over to Vera and laughed. Rosalie looked down at her adoringly, and I saw a love in her eyes as she listened to Vera talk. Rosalie has always wanted a little girl of her own. She's never really admitted it, but I know these things. Plus, it's kind of obvious, the way she acts with any little girl who crosses her path.

"I'm sure we can all add our dress-up things too." Esme said excitedly from beside me, and Carlisle chuckled. "I still have all my dress up from when I was a little girl in the attic. I use to play with it all the time. I kept it for a child of my own, but that never happened. I've tried to get Carlisle to get it down for me, but he always says it won't fit." Esme laughed, and turned to give her husband a peck on the cheek. Esme was 30 years old, and three years ago she found out she couldn't have children of her own. She had cried for a few days, and then moved on with her life. You had to admire her for her strength.

"You were too old when you came to live with us, Alice, so it hasn't been used in some time. I'll take Vera up there while she's staying here and we'll have ourselves a tea party. Isn't that right, Carlisle?" She turned with a hidden smirk to her husband, who sighed, but nodded. He would do anything for Esme, no matter how much he didn't want to**.** I giggled at the thought of Carlisle playing tea party.

"Alright, Mrs.-soon-to-be-Whitlock, you have to get ready!" My mother said to me from across the table. I squealed and jumped up, and ran up to my bedroom. I could hear laughs coming from downstairs at my exit. I opened my closet and walked inside. I had a small walk-in closet, and it was bursting with all the clothes I had. I went to the back and pulled out all the garment bags. I put them all on my bed, and went to get the shoe boxes. By the time I came out everyone was in my room, picking up their bags. They all had the names printed in gold on the front. 

"I'm so excited!" I squealed, unable to contain my joy. I was buzzing, and it felt like I was going to wake up and it would all be a dream. I was going to get my dream guy, and ride off into the sunset. Esme and Jasper had a surprise for our honeymoon, and I hadn't been able to know. I had tried everything to get it out of Jasper, and I do mean _everything, _but nothing had worked.

I picked up the biggest bag, and hung it up on the full length mirror. I unzipped it, and immediately smiled. I had spent months trying to find the perfect dress, and I'd given up. Then Rose came, saw the dress that I'd settled for, and told me it sucked. So we took a weekend trip, and went to visit her Aunt in New York. We went dress shopping the entire time, and finally found the perfect one. It took forever, and we had to get it fit to my body, but it looks fantastic. It had a slim, A-Line silhouette in ethereal satin faced chiffon with a strapless sweetheart neckline. It had a functional corset back, hidden by a beautifully hand draped wrap closure and a chapel length train, and it also had crystal embellishments on the right. It was so beautiful. My dream guy, and dream dress, all in one day.

I giggled in glee as I saw it once again, imagining how it would look with my hair all done, and light makeup on. My father had found the perfect pair of matching shoes while he was shopping for a new tuxedo, and had sent them over two weeks ago. They had white satin straps that wound around my foot, and a 4 inch heel. They made a distinct clicking sound because of the embellishments on the sides, and the bottom.

"That's beautiful sweetheart! How did you find it?" My mother asked as she looked at my dress. Everyone had come to look at the dress, and they were all complimenting me, telling me how beautiful it looked.

"I went dress shopping with Rosalie a few weeks ago, remember, I told you about it on the phone." I said. My mother nodded, obviously not remembering it.

I zipped the dress back into the garment bad and grabbed my shoes. Rosalie had packed everything in the car that we needed the night before, and taken it all to the church. We were having an afternoon wedding in the church's garden. It was beautiful, covered in all different kinds of colors and flowers, with multiple fountains, and you could always hear birds chirping.

We all piled in the carriage. We had cars at the church to get home, but my mother thought Jasper and I should ride off in a carriage, so we got one. The driver, or whatever you call them started off with the horses and we rode off to the church giggling, and with butterflies in our stomachs. Well... at least I did.

We arrived at the church in about half an hour, and we all piled out of the carriage. I must've looked strange to the people walking and driving by. It's not everyday a bunch of giggling women climb out of a horse-drawn carriage in front of a church. It was 10:00 AM and everyone else in the wedding would be here in about an hour and a half. The girls grabbed all their stuff as Carlisle went to finish off some things and get himself ready before the boys got here. We wound our way through the aisles of the beautiful church, making comments about the incredible stain glass window in the back. We all filed through the long corridors and down a big, decorated hallway, and finally made it to the bridal rooms.

There were three large rooms and all of them were connected, so we opened up all the doors that joined them, and hung up all the garment bags and stowed the shoe boxes in the spaces provided. Rosalie and Esme were to my right, and my mother was with me. She pulled out a garment bag and went into the bathroom, modest as always.. She was changing and getting herself ready first, then was going to help Carlisle tie everything together and help to ferry updates between the guys and us girls.

I sat down on the long, cream couch in the corner of the room. Everything in it was gold and cream. It looked elegant and beautiful, but somehow relaxed me at the same time. Rosalie, Esme, and Vera sat down next to me. They were all talking animatedly about the rest of the day, Vera bouncing up and down in excitement.

"So do you know where you're going on your honeymoon yet?" Rosalie asked me. I pointedly looked at Esme.

"No." I replied, slightly glaring at Esme for added effect. She knew I was kidding and just rolled her eyes at me. Rosalie laughed.

"I fink the dwesses awe pwetty. They awe pink. Pink is my favwite color." Vera chimed in, excited to be a part of the grown up conversation.

"It's one of my favorite colors too. I like the way it's kind of a mix between a pink, and coral. It makes a really pretty color." Rosalie said. She picked up Vera and plopped her on her lap, wrapping her arms around protectively around Vera's waist. Vera suddenly became fascinated with Rosalie's golden hair. She was twisting it around her fingers, combing through it, and petting it. Rosalie just sat there and laughed. Vera was a cute little girl. She had small, rounded features, rosy cheeks, and the cutest button nose ever. She had long, dark hair that had just a touch of a wave to it, and you could never get it to do what you wanted. She has a roses and cream complexion, and always smelled like freesia, jasmine, and a hint of vanilla. Her eyes were a striking blue, like ice. It was something odd to see in a girl with such dark hair, but it made her even more beautiful. Rosalie looked like she was in love with her, and I couldn't blame her. Vera was the sweetest little girl out there, although she had a bit of sass to her when she thought it was okay.

My mother came out in a calypso pink dress that draped down to her knees. Her hair was pinned up, and she had on a frosty pink lipstick. She had matching shoes that had a kitten heel, and two straps going horizontal across her foot.

"You look so pretty! Where did you get that?" I asked, motioning for her to twirl so I could see the back.

"Your father got it for me for Christmas." She said with a smile.

"He _is_ learning!" I laughed. My mother exited to go help Carlisle, and we all piled into the bathroom.

I laughed as Vera came bounding into the room, running as fast as she could to get to the chair. Once she sat down she erupted into a big smile and giggles, she was bouncing in her seat. Rosalie went to the counter and grabbed a vanity box full of cosmetics. I picked up a brush and went to town on her hair. I brushed it out nice and smoothly, then went to the counter to grab my instruments of torture. The curler was already hot, so I grabbed a strand of hair and started curling. I used a big curler so it was just a slight wave added to her natural waviness, and then I started twisting, and clipping, and somehow got an amazing result. Her hair was up in something that I didn't have a name for, and she had light bangs in the front from when she tried to cut her own hair, it wasn't noticeable when she had her hair down, but it wouldn't fit in what I did. It was like a thin layer of hair that you could just barely see, but it looked so amazing! I took some little flowered clips, and some diamond clips and put them in her hair. I went for the counter, and grabbed a sparkly spray that makes your hair hold up, and makes it kind of glow or sparkle, a fruit spray that made your hair smell nice, and some hairspray to make it stay. A little over the top for a three year old, I know, but she _did _look adorable.

When I was done, I smiled and looked up to Rose, who was almost done with Vera's makeup. On the count of three we picked her up and faced her so she could she herself in the mirror. She gasped and giggled, and I had to move fast to keep her from messing up her hair. Esme took her to get her dress on and n five minutes they were back, and she looked so cute.. She was in a cute little organza dress. The dress had a strapless, beaded lace bodice and a skirt that went just past her knees with cute little girl sandal on that had just enough heel that they clicked when she walked.

I sat and talked with Vera for a while Esme and Rosalie went to get ready. I learned that Vera's best friend was Michael and her favorite Disney princess was Ariel from the Little Mermaid**.** Vera also told me about her house, her family, and her dad. Just by hearing her talk about him, you knew she loved her dad like no other. Her mom got pregnant when she was very young, and died giving birth. I had only ever met her dad once when I was about 15 and I'll admit that it was weird meeting someone just a couple of years older than me who was a father.

When people hear the story, they immediately think of the stereotypical "teenagers fooling around and being stupid, then the girl got pregnant." But the reality of the story is that Vera's mother was terminally ill, and wasn't expected to live past the age of twenty. Vera's parents got married and decided they wanted a baby, so she could at least get to be a mom for a while and her dad would always have a little piece of her mom. When Vera was born, her mom's body just couldn't handle it. She died later that night. It was really sad, but Vera and her dad were pretty happy, I think. They functioned much more smoothly than any other family I'd seen in a long time. Her dad got a scholarship to college, and takes classes while Vera is in pre-school, then works from home so he can be with her. He makes a pretty decent living, and will soon be starting college football, so he's going to get a babysitter for the first hour Vera is home from school. He makes dinner every night, and manages his life pretty well. It's pretty amazing, really.

Rosalie suddenly walked out laughing with Esme. She looked absolutely stunning, they both did, actually. Rosalie's dress was a chiffon, tea length gown with front gathers, lace under the bust matching straps and it zipped in the back. It looked truly amazing. Her hair was piled in a well constructed, twisted, bun with the same clips that were in Vera's hair clipped perfectly into place.

Esme had the same dress, but her hair was fluffed up with curls, and she had the same clips as everyone else clipped to keep her hair out of her face out of the way. She was also wearing the same shoes as Rosalie, the same color as the dress, with vertical x-crossing straps.

"Oh my gosh! They look even better than they did on the hangers!" I squealed. I ran over and hugged them, careful not to muss their dresses.

"Your turn!" And with that, Rose and Esme set out to do my hair, makeup, and everything else. We gossiped, and laughed, I even think I might have cried a little bit, and I felt better about the day, the butterflies were going away.

After Rose and Esme were done, Esme went to get my dress and shoes. She brought them back in to me, and I carefully slipped the dress on. I took out the shoes, and felt the urge to smell them. I loved the smell of new shoes! I put them on and faced the mirror. I had on a frosty pink lipstick on with a shiny cover, a glowing cream on my cheek bones so it looked like I actually had cheekbones, and a black mascara with faint, grey eyeliner. Rosalie had given me a smoky eye look with hints of different colors. It all looked fantastic, of course My hair was fluffed up on the top of my head, curled, gelled and sparkled, with the same clips as everyone else. Esme handed me my veil and I slid it onto my head. I smiled contentedly at the sight before me, I looked like a bride!

Edward's voice resounded down the hallway, and the butterflies came back. Jasper was here, in the church, getting ready. This was happening. It was actually happening.

Edward and Carlisle came through and their eyes widened.

"You look beautiful Alice!" Edward gave me a hug, making sure he was careful, probably due to Rosalie's death glare I knew she was giving him behind me.

"You're not too shabby yourself." I laughed. He spun around in a circle, making fun of me.

"You're a beautiful woman Alice; Jasper is a very lucky man. I hope you two are as happy as can be." Carlisle spoke, his voice and eyes showing me that he cared. His eyes looked a little watery, and he gave me a hug so sincere I wanted to cry.

"I hope we can be half as happy as you and Esme. " I whispered into his ear. Carlisle let go and smiled down at me.

"I love you kid." He said to me. Tears pricked at my eyes, and I beamed up at him. He gave me another quick hug and then walked over to Esme. I couldn't hear their conversation, but she giggled, and he spun her around in a circle and pulled her in for a quick kiss.

"We have to go check on Jasper and finish some quick stuff. I have to give my big brother speech _and _my 'you can do this' speech, then another one at the reception. You're lucky I love you." Edward winked at me and walked out with Carlisle.

I took a few calming breaths and Esme opened the window. The cool breeze felt wonderful, and I didn't know how stuffy it was until it became cool. My mother walked in as I started to get those butterflies again.

"Oh my! Sweetheart, you look amazing!" She stood there and looked at me, tearing up. She came over to me and kissed my forehead, and the tears started coming. She laughed and wiped her cheeks. "Look at me!" She said.

"I love you mom." I said, and kissed her forehead like she did to me. My eyes watered even more.

Carlisle and Edward entered the room with weird looks on their faces. They briefly acknowledged me and fast walked to Esme at the back of the room.

"Well I have to go; I can't leave the guests all by themselves. I'll check on the ushers. I'll see you down the aisle baby girl! Good luck." She blew me an air kiss and walked out of the room.

I turned to see Esme's face wrinkled in concern and a hint of pain in her eyes. Her eyes flashed to mine, and then quickly back to Carlisle's. Rosalie came over to me and we talked for a little bit about nothing important, just chattering. Whatever was going on was nagging at me. Carlisle and Esme had left a minute ago, and now it was just Edward in the room, looking rather uncomfortable. I got up in the middle of Rosalie's sentence and walked over to him, determined to know what was going on.

I cornered Edward. "What's going on?" I questioned. I was getting this out of him whether he wanted to tell me or not.

"You're looking pretty, that's what's happening!" He said, his voice shaky. He knew that his excuse was a pathetic one. He looked at me with sadness and pity, and that just made me madder. I raised my hand, ready to hit him, resorting to physical violence always worked. Carlisle and Esme walked back in as I was about to hit his arm.

"Alice!" Esme scolded with a tired and sad voice. I was getting scared now, but I dropped my hand anyways.

Esme! What's going on?! Why wont anyone tell me anything?!" I screamed, sounding half-crazy.

"Alice." She started, "It's Jasper." My heart immediately sank. What about Jasper?

"Did he go all Henry on me?" I asked, half babbling. Esme looked at me with confusion. "Henry, he's from the Time Travelers Wife. It's a book I just read. On the day of his wedding he disappears because he went into the future. " Esme took a second to process what I'd just said, and then her eyes became even sadder. She looked at me and I instantly knew.

Jasper was gone.

**DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!! Alright. So we wont be seeing Jasper for a couple of chapters, but he'll be back. I have a few things to put in the story before things start happening. I know some of you are like "wait a second! Alice has long hair, doesn't like makeup, and is not a morning person…what's going on here!" But do not fear! I did that for a reason! Just wait and you will see why! I am sorry for the late update, but it was a hard chapter for me to write, and life kind of got in the way! Thank to Foundation of Dreams for editing it, and helping me find dresses and all that fun stuff! Reviews are loved!!!! I'll give you an imaginary cookie!**


	3. Pity Party, Population One

I wept into the back of the seat as the driver went down the winding roads of Forks. My heart felt like it had been pulled in every direction, and cut up with scissors. My body felt like it had suffered being shocked with thousands of volts of electricity. I wiped my eyes once again, and I could feel the puffy, irritated, red spots underneath them. I couldn't help but wonder why he would do this, _how _he could do this. Didn't he love me? Was his goal all along to humiliate, and hurt me? Did he ever really love me, or was the past 5 years all a lie? My head hurt, and my heart burned. Why would Jasper do this?

I cried once more, tears flowing hot and hard down my face. I felt ugly, and unloved, like my life was no longer worth living. I must be such an awful person, so ugly and repulsive, so nasty and mean. My own mother mustn't even love me! How could she, I was a failure.

I was suddenly hit with a wave of anger. Jasper was the one who was repulsive, not me! He left me at the _altar_. He was the awful one, and here I was, doubting myself!

I huffed and puffed for a minute or so, but just as soon as it came, the anger was gone, and once again was replaced by the sad, lonely, self hatred. I couldn't truly hate Jasper, no matter how hard I tried. He was a wonderful man, and I was this short, fat, ugly creature. Well, I still wanted him to get him by a bus…but that doesn't count.

The road became bumpy for a second. I looked outside, and we were crossing a bridge. Not the big bridges, like in New York, but just a little bridge people bike over, but it was high enough that cruise ships could come through.

"Stop!" I screamed at the driver. The car pulled into the side of the road so quickly I had to hold onto the handle. I quickly scrambled out of the car, my dress making swishy sounds. It suddenly became hard to breath; the pain of being left became too real. I choked on my own sobs, and my knees gave out beneath me. The driver ran around the car to me.

"Are you okay Miss?" He asked. I didn't trust my voice, but I couldn't find my muscles to nod. I let out a garbled yes, and a wailing sob.

"Just go home." I managed to get out. "Do-" Sob. "Wha-" Breath "-t you w-" Cry "ere going to-" Choke on tears. "Do originally." On the ending y, I broke into a loud set of sobs, with tears springing out of my eyes. The driver warily got up, slipped into the car and drove away.

I got up off the ground, and went to the ledge of the bridge. I let out a shaky breath, and one solitude tear fell down my cheek. I shakily got up on the ledge of the bridge, and lifted my arms into the air as a breeze came through. My long, brown hair lifted into the air. I loved my hair, it was one of my favorite things about me. It was long, and shiny, and a light color of brown. Mixing my hair and my skin tone was pretty. I never had to wear makeup, and it was good because I didn't particularly like make-up. I had never seen the point.

As I stood on the ledge, my mind pierced my heart with images of Jasper. Moments when we seemed so happy, and so in love, I never would have guessed that he was faking. He must be really good, or I must be really blind. The images kept coming, and with every one, a new slice of pain came to my heart, another scar that would never heal.

My inner self started to laugh at me, laughing at how stupid I must have been to think someone could love me, to think I was actually worth loving. It was my fault Jasper was gone, I was just such a repulsive, nasty person, and he didn't want to live with that for one more second. Yet another round of tears came springing up into my eyes, and poured over within seconds. I had cried gallons of tears today, and I'm sure I would cry gallons more as I went back home, back to Forks, back to all the memories, and all the people, and all the places that would haunt me.

I lifted my hands above my head and jumped. I went head first into the big lake. The icy water hit me like a ton of bricks. The temperature of the water took away my pain for just a moment. My head popped up from underneath the water and I took a deep breath, the rush of the air, and the cold of the water felt good, and made my mind a little less jumbled. I lifted my legs on top of the water, and just floated there for a while. Watching the sky darken, and just going where the waves took me.

"This isn't funny!" I shouted into the sky. "Is this your way of punishing me? Did I do something wrong! What did I ever do to you? I don't deserve this!" I just couldn't understand how someone could do this. How someone could hurt me like this, or make my heart hurt as bad as it did. I wanted to curl up and drown if it would make the pain of Jasper go away. I just wanted it to all stop. I would rather be numb the rest of my life than feel this lonely, hollow, betrayed, self hating feeling. It just hurt so badly. What sucks the most is that I still love him just as much as I did this morning. He was still the most handsome man I had ever seen, he was still the love of my life. I wanted to die, but I would never actually take my own life.

I started to hear a small whizzing sound. It got louder and louder, and then I started to see a light. I soon realized it was a boat. I didn't have time to scramble away before it stopped and called my name.

"Alice! That you?" Jaspers uncle called, Derek. Why would he be out here? Did he have Jasper with him? I popped up immediately.

"Derek!" I said, hope blatantly obvious in my voice. He heard it too, and winced. My mood immediately plummeted. "What are you doing out here?" I asked, my voice sounding monotonous. I guess hope could hurt you, I guess happiness can hurt you too. I just wanted to feel numb.

"Everyone is at your house. I came to offer you a stay at my hotel. It's gotta be better than going back to that place, and having to see all those people. I've been looking for you for about an hour." Derek said kindly. I thought of going home, seeing all those people, seeing my mom, Jaspers family, my family, everyone looking at me with pity, and trying to get me to talk about it. But would that be better than spending a night with someone who looked like- and was related to- Jasper?

" Thank you. I'll swim back so I don't get your boat all wet." I looked around for shore.

"Nonsense. Swim over here and I'll help you up." He shut the boat off and came around back to put the latter down and offer his hands. I swam around back and started up. I grabbed onto his hand and pulled myself in once I got to the top.

The cold night air hit me instantly and my body convulsed. My teeth started to chatter and my goose bumps got goose bumps. Derek grabbed a large beach towel and wrapped it around me immediately. I grabbed onto it for dear life and went to cuddle into a corner seat on the boat. Derek was pulling up seats, looking for something. He finally pulled out a large, warm-looking blanket. I moaned at the thought of the warm blanket. I instantly blushed and looked down, I could hear Derek laughing as he came closer. I felt him put the blanket around me and I looked up. He was tucking it into my sides and started to rub where my arms were under the blankets like Jasper use to do when we would watch the fireworks on the lake for the Fourth of July. I closed my eyes and relished in the warm feeling. I couldn't tell if it was the thought of Jasper, or the blanket that was causing it. As much as I hated it, Jasper still sent shivers down my spine, and put a smile on my face. Not to mention the dirty place my mind went to on the occasion, that boy was a tease, I had taught him well. The thoughts hurt.

"Thank you, this means a lot." I snuggled deeper into the blanket cocoon Derek had made, and smiled. It was nice that somebody cared. Derek looked back at me an laughed, it sounded so much like Jaspers, and his smile was the exact same. My heart dropped, and I went lower into my pit of self-despair. Those ice blue eyes, his honey blonde hair, how his accent would come out when he spoke to me. His accent was amazing, every time I heard it I got weak in the knees.

It took about 20 minutes to get to shore, I didn't realize I had floated out that far. My heart and my head hurt like hell, and my emotions were catching up to me. The cold couldn't keep them at bay for long. Soon enough I was going to be a mess for someone to have to deal with. Derek docked the boat and tied it up. He grabbed me up in the bundle of blankets and booked it to the car with me in his arms. For a minute I felt loved again, but then I realized this was Jasper's uncle, granted he was only a few years older than me. I wanted Jasper more than anything in the entire world, yet I was so mad at him. I wanted to beat him with a baseball bat and scissors and hear him cry and apologize and beg for me to come back! For now I would curl up in the blankets I had and try to make this slicing pain in my heart go away.

We got to his hotel 15 minutes later, and I trailed behind him into his room. He excused himself for about 10 minutes, taking off running down the hall. He came back with some dry clothes for me.

"My sister is staying down the hall. I happen to have her room key. They might be a little big, but that dress is soaked." He handed me a pair of holey sweats and a tank top. I took them and walked into the bathroom, not even being able to muster up a thank you. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was disheveled and tangled, my make up was smudged all around my eyes, my skin was a scary pale, and my dress was soaking, but still beautiful. For the millionth time that night, I started to cry. I fell to the wall for support, and slid down until I was curled into a ball on the floor, sobbing until my head was throbbing. I supposed if Derek were to walk in right now I would have looked like a sad sack of messed up chick. After Forty-Five minutes of sobbing uncontrollably on the floor, my sobs turned into whimpers, and my whimpers turned into gasps, and those gasps turned into hiccups. I was finally able to pull myself up off the ground and take off the dress. I slowly unzipped the dress, feeling the fabric stick to my skin. My eyes welled up once more…I was taking off my wedding dress, that wasn't suppose to happen until tonight with….I couldn't even think the name without expecting full blown tears. It was suppose to be romantic with waves splashing onto the shore, candles, and marriage. How could that have turned into this? I was miserable, alone, and wet.

As my body became number, I slipped on the sweats, and then the tank top, feeling slightly snug underneath everything else. I grabbed a grubby motel towel and started wiping at my eyes. The eye makeup refused to come off, even with water and some soap. I started scrubbing, and scrubbing, feeling the searing pain under my eyes, but still scrubbing, scrubbing, scrubbing some more. Furiously I went at my eyes, anger ringing out of me as the eyeliner refused to come off. Finally my eyes couldn't take it anymore. I pulled the towel back and looked in the mirror. The skin under my eyes was bleeding in places, and highly red and irritated. Somehow I couldn't feel the sting anymore…it felt…regular. This was a pain I had never experienced before, and it was crushing me. I was letting the sadness and anger seep into me, but I couldn't stop it. It sounds pathetic but, it was just unreal to me. How could one person cause all of this? I picked up my wedding dress and hung it in the closet next to the door. The hangers in the closet were perfect for my dress. I slid the door shut and walked back out into the room.

Derek was lying on the bed in scrubby sweats and a loose t-shirt, his hair was all messy and he had miss-matched socks on. When he saw me he immediately stood up and pulled his hands through his hair.

"Umm…How are you? Do you need anything? Do those clothes fit okay?" He seemed disheveled and confused, like he didn't know what to say to me. A giggle escaped my mouth. He was like Jasper in that way. And here come the tears…For Pete's Sake! I couldn't control myself. Derek saw my eyes water and rushed over. He wrapped me up in a hug and I nuzzled my neck into his chest for comfort. We stood like that until I was sure the tears stopped, thankfully it was only just a few.

"Umm, I only have one bed. I figured you could sleep in it and I'll sleep on the couch." Derek said.

"Don't be silly. This is your room, and I have been enough trouble. You sleep on the bed." I at least had some common courtesy left in me.

"I will not sleep on the bed." Derek replied back.

"Neither will I." I said back stubbornly. '

"How about we both sleep on it?" He proposed, then quickly started stuttering. "Unless that's weird. That's totally weird, I mean-"

"It's fine. There are multiple blankets, we'll just sleep on different ones, because that is the only way you are going to get me to sleep on that bed." I crossed my arms. He smiled, relieved I wasn't freaked out.

"Sounds like a plan. Want to watch a movie, get some overpriced room service?" He smiled at me. I tried to smile back but my muscles didn't want to work that way.

"Sounds like a deal." I followed him to the bed as we got situated and he ordered room service while I flipped through channels.

Six hours later it was approaching 3 in the morning. I had fallen asleep, my eyelids too heavy and my stomach too full of all the junk we had eaten.

"Alice." Derek whispered as he shook me awake.

"What?" I mumbled.

"You're going to hurt yourself if you sleep like that. Get up for a second and let me help you."

I did as he told me to and got up. He pulled all the blankets around and told me to lie back down. He then wrapped me up tight in a bundle of blankets. I felt so safe and secure in that moment, with Derek hovering over me, tucking in edges, and me being wrapped so tightly in the blankets that it would be impossible to fall out. With Derek around me…I could be better, eventually. He would help me, even when I refused it. Even if I could never be helped, it might be nice to have another Jasper…I could hold on to him, I _would _hold on to him.


End file.
